Local couple has seen quite a few Valentine’s Days together
LAUREL — Gilmer and Mary Stark have marked quite a few Valentine’s Days together over the years.
This year’s celebration — their 69th — comes at a unique time in history. The last 12 months will be remembered for a new disease, school closings, and many people losing their jobs, or becoming house-bound.
On Dec. 15, 2020, the Starks celebrated 69 years of marriage. They represent the definition of true love.
Gilmer and Mary were born during the Great Depression. Gilmer in Martinsburg, and Mary in Bloomfield.
Gilmer attended Trinity Lutheran School, Martinsburg High School and graduated from Ponca High School. After 20 years in Martinsburg, Gilmer moved to Newcastle with his family.
Mary was raised in Bloomfield, later moved to Sioux City and graduated from Sioux City Central High School.
One evening in 1950, Gilmer, along with his friend John Koch, traveled to Sioux City, Iowa to the Tomba Ballroom to enjoy dancing with Koch’s friend Lois Hummel. Hummel had brought along her friend Mary.
“We danced that evening and I thought he was good looking,” Mary said, adding with a chuckle, “I didn’t know he didn’t have any money until we got together.”
Gilmer laughed at Mary’s comment, adding, “I guess it was supposed to be.”
Gilmer courted Mary a little over a year. One day in December 1951, Gilmer received as he described, an invitation to the U.S. Army. He proposed to Mary and they were united in marriage Dec. 14, 1951.
The Korean War had begun on June 25, 1950. President Harry S. Truman sent troops into South Korea shortly after the start of the war. 1.5 million men were drafted during this time. Gilmer left for the Army on Jan. 7, 1952.
Barely three weeks after being married, they were off to Camp Pickett in Virginia for Basic Training.
After completion of Basic Training, the couple were stationed in San Antonio, Texas and then Denver.
He received orders overseas a few months after arriving in Denver. After Gilmer deployed, Mary returned to Sioux City to be with her family.
“We just made it through,” Mary said.
After the war ended, Gilmer arrived at Camp Carson in Colorado for discharge where the Starks were reunited after 13 months of separation.
They moved to Newcastle and farmed for two years. They were blessed with their first child Marlene prior to moving to Sioux City in 1955. Mary worked at Johnson Biscuit Company and Gilmer peddled bread and goodies for Omar Bakery door to door until later working for Wilsey Steel.
In 1960, the Starks moved to Cedar County. Their family had grown from one daughter to four daughters and Gilmer felt outnumbered. Carol and Patti were born during their time in Sioux City. Susan arrived after they arrived in Cedar County. Steven and Alan were born a few years later and helped even out the numbers in the Stark family.
After Mary gave birth to the last child, Gilmer gathered all the children around the kitchen table. He gave them the task of naming their new brother from a list of names their parents had chosen.
“We have a lot of things to thank the good Lord for. He has been looking out for us,” Gilmer said.
The Starks expressed as they had gotten older, they had lost many friends their age. They were active bowlers and enjoyed their neighborhood card club. Steve Stark remembered a piggy bank that sat in the kitchen for years. His parents finally cashed it in to pay for tickets to Hawaii to visit Marlene and her husband Steve during Steve’s time in the Navy. The day after they left, a huge snowstorm hit the farm and his father worried the entire time that he needed to come home to feed the cows.
Steve’s favorite memory was when he worked in Washington, D.C. for the Department of Agriculture and his parents came to visit. They visited the Korean War Memorial. He said by pure luck, he captured an amazing picture of them standing side by side paying reverence to his dad’s time in the service.
The Starks talked of their strong faith in God. They attend the Immanuel Lutheran Church in Laurel. When asked what they think has allowed them to keep a marriage strong for 69 years, Gilmer responded, “You have to compromise to keep your marriage going. You have to be able to admit you are wrong sometimes.” Both Starks agree they’ve had their ups and downs, and marriage did not always feel like a bed of roses. Mary said, “Gilmer is a good man, and I will keep him.” The Stark’s children completely agreed with the above. They said no matter what situation in life their parents faced, they always supported each other, did whatever it took to provide for the family. They taught them all the value of hard work, faith and commitment. If a child started something, such as a sport, they had to finish and were not allowed to quit.
Their daughter Carol said she has fond memories of working together as a family on projects and storing up food for the family. The family snapped green beans, opened pea pods, cleaned sweet corn, picked and prepared apples and cherries. Many memories and fun times were created around the picnic table. She loved the fun times when someone would get squirted with cherry juice.
Marlene, Patti and Susan remember their attempt to hurry when they walked beans. Not to get done with their work, but their Mom would sing, “Oh my darling, Oh my darling Clementine.” The three had fond memories of both parents. They said dad always took a nap after lunch on the floor with one arm under his head and the other stretched out, and they would lay down on his arm as a pillow.
Gilmer also helped the children break their market beef and hogs for 4-H. They said their mom, like most farm wives, helped sort the cattle and hogs, she worked as the gatekeeper. They called her the grain and silage hauler at harvest time, the flatbed driver during hay baling season and bottle feeder for orphaned calves.
The family watched Bonanza, Law rence Welk and football together on Saturday nights after their baths. Their mom would put all the girl’s hair in pin curls for church on Sunday.
Gilmer said,” You have to have faith and trust in the Lord.” He also said if you do not work hard on your marriage it will not last.
The family has fond memories of Christmas. Mary would make the four girls dresses for the Christmas Eve service. The girls would not get to see them until right before the service. They remembered every year how they had to wait in the car for their mother to get ready for church because she always helped her family first. On the way to church, their Mom would remind them to look for the reindeer and sleigh tracks and no matter what, Santa had always arrived while they were at church.
Gilmer and Mary Stark have definitely worked hard and set such a wonderful example for generations to come.
The Starks have six children, Marlene Swanson, Lincoln; Carol Nitzschke Remsen, Iowa; Patti Cunningham, Laurel; Susan Koch, Laurel; Steve Stark, Kansas City, MO; and Alan Stark, Wakefield, NE, 17 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren.
This year they will remember over 70 years of Valentine’s Day. They do not have any plans and will stay home together due to COVID-19. They truly love each other and enjoy the simple things in life. According to Author Stephen Gaines, being in a long marriage is
According to Author Stephen Gaines, being in a long marriage is a little like that nice cup of coffee every morning—he might have it every day, but he still enjoys it.
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